Here is my future. I am the little boy in the yellow trunks.
Plenty of Fish has been a complete piece of shit so far. I signed back up (or well unhid my profile) thinking "why not, it couldn't hurt". I figured it would be mostly crappy messages but I'd met a few guys on that site in the past and if anything, it would help generate some more fucked up things to blog about. So for this post I will focus on POF which should be called plenty of fucking losers...
I've had my suspicions for awhile that roughly 89% of the people in this world do not know how to spell or use proper grammar. Some of the messages I've received so far have proved this theory and left me wondering if maybe English isn't their first language. I don't claim to be a writer but this is bad... real bad.
Cuddle up children it's story time. Some general notes about the messages.
- One of the first things I notice is that no man enjoys sending a message longer than 4-5 words. Literally almost every message says some variation of "Hey, how's it going?". Some actually just say "hi". Some add the words beautiful/pretty/cute. I added to my profile that I won't respond to those kind of messages and do you think they stopped... NOPE. Further proof that they are clearly not even reading my profile but upon seeing titties get sent into a frenzy where they can only come up with a 5 word message. Thinking is tough.
- Punctuation is also supa tough. One paragraph, zero periods. Pretty standard.
So I'm not sure how much detail people want to hear but here are a couple of gems. The following have literally been copy and pasted:
- "I see u caught a black capped chickitty... can't spell btw haha. Reason why I say is because I actually caught one before too.. it just came right up and landed on my arm and stared me down for a good 30 seconds... different experience" uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum. See the picture he is referring to below. The caption on my picture says chickadee so he could have just, yano, used that spelling. Also apparently he was shaken to the core by his "different experience" with a chickadee. Sorry to hear about that?
- Backstory: I didn't answer his previous message. "no worries don t be scared i ll wait for halloween to get out of my coffin and come for a bit a vampire i m lol.Any plan for halloween by the way ?" I don't respond. A few days later "can i feed out of your hands too?" Men.
- "Hey my name is andrew would. you like to chat." No. Sometimes not enough punctuation and sometimes too much.
- "Wow, from Cape Breton? Really? You don't look like a typical Caper girl..." not sure how to take this. I ask him what a typical caper girl looks like. He never responds.
- "you are very pretty.I like your pretty eye's. can I take you out for a beer & wings sometime. Im Clint do you text. 902-xxx-xxxx" This guy doesn't fuck around or waste time. As tempted as it was to text him after he woo'ed me so hard, I resisted.
- Not really that funny but "Hey how was your summer?" What? Do I know you?
- "Hey how are you today I liked what I read in your profile an just wanted to know if you wanted to chat please reply" PLEASE REPLYYYYYYYYYY.
- "Hey .. You + Keiths Brewery = My Heavon. :P" Your spelling = my own personal hell
- "Hi, How are you doing? you look great are you free to chat or go out" This man claims to be 34 on his profile. I'm fairly certain he's showing signs of osteoporosis in his photo.
;)
Out of about 50 messages that I've received so far, these are some of the only ones that say more than the "Hi what's up" thing that I talked about above. Doesn't this make you want to sign up for POF?
Out of about 50 messages that I've received so far, these are some of the only ones that say more than the "Hi what's up" thing that I talked about above. Doesn't this make you want to sign up for POF?
